you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
