STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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