I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
