fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am naked and annoyed.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
