At least make sure they are 18
Why
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize