Your dad touched me again.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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