Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
