I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize
