I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
