This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
