Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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