He disabled his match.com account in front of me
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
