Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
