So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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