therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
