I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
