Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
