We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
