The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
