This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
