Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
