No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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