if you like me you must not know who I am
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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