Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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