nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
