He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
