So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
