Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
