I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
