sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you would pick up someone in the library
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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