I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
