Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
