on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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