I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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