apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
