Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
