There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think your dad took our porno
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
