her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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