im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
