Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
