I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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