you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
