she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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