Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
