the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
