we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
