You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
