you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
