i just google imaged poop.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
