weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
