he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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