vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
