I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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