im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
