Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
