Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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